Follow Teahouse on Our RSS Feed!
Teahouse on Twitter
Teahouse on deviantART
Teahouse on Tumblr
Official Teahouse Facebook - Run by fans, for fans!
Questions, comments? Contact us by email!
 
Come on. Just click it. You know you just came here for the porn. Please to be buying our things? Even if you didn't want to know more, we made this section. Just in case. Where we threw all the other shit.
 
Dapper men in dapper suits, doing each other!
advertise here

News

 
Apparently we sometimes do things and then write about them. For when you forget a character's name or just want to laugh at our summarizing skills. If you're REALLY bored waiting for that new page, you can come read about us!. Please check here before emailing us! :D

Characters & Story

Much like Melrose Place, Teahouse is a story about a bunch of whores living in the same building. Only without the pool.

Teahouse is the story of a fancy brothel in the country of Ivore following the lives of the courtesans who live there, as well as the lives of the people who seek them out.

Teahouse

Table
Atros
Yo dawg I herd u like eyebrows

Name: Xanthe Atros
(pronounced "Zanth Atrohs")
Age: 28
Birthday: September 9
Sex: Male
Height: 5'11"

Voted most likely to need a nosehair trimmer.

Owner and manage of the Teahouse.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Linneus
"Atros-sama, I..."

Name: Linneus
(pronounced "Lin-ee-uhs")
Age: 26
Birthday: April 5
Sex: Male
Height: 5'9"

Voted most likely to look better in your outfit than you.

The Teahouse's most seasoned courtesan, and old childhood friend of Atros.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Axis
Wienermeat.

Name: Axis
Age: 23
Birthday: August 8
Sex: Yes please
Height: 5'7"

Voted most likely to bend over for oral.

The once top-earning male whore with a bad attitude and penchant for trouble.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Rhys
BITCHES

Name: Rhys D'Ivore
(pronounced "Reese Dee-vore")
Age: 27
Birthday: April 27
Sex: Constantly
Height: 6'1"

Voted most likely to have illegitimate children in the double digits. Also voted Prom King.

The Prince of Ivore, who visits the Teahouse secretly to get his fuck on with Axis.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Rory
uguuuu

Name: Rory Dubois
(pronounced "Roar-ee Doo-bwah")
Age: 18
Birthday: June 7
Sex: Male
Height: 5'4"

Voted most likely to bake you cakes.

The current top earning male as well as the youngest, Rory is the resident virgin who is in an exclusive contract with a mysterious nobleman.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Reed
Reed and his constant DO NOT WANT face.

Name: Alistair Grayson Dorian Reed III
(pronounced "pretentious fuck")
Age: 32
Birthday: September 15
Sex: Male
Height: 6'5"

Voted prettiest hair.

A germaphobic and OCD nobleman who sees Rory exclusively.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Gilder
GILDER Y U SO MOE

Name: Gilder
Age: 29
Birthday: September 28
Sex: Male
Height: 6'6"

Voted most likely to die by age 40 of liver failure while covered in sluts.

An assassin who likes spending his gold on whores and booze. Might start seeing a certain pink-haired whore on a regular basis...

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Sacha
SACHA JUDGE.

Name: Sacha Edorovka
(pronounced "Saht-cha")
Age: 25
Birthday: November 3
Sex: Male
Height: 5'4"

Voted most likely to try to top you in your sleep.

Gilder's ESL partner in crime who hails from the North.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Mouse
Blushy ferret is blushy

Name: Mouse
(pronounced "MAOUWSE")
Age: 2
Birthday: February 14
Sex: Male
Height: 7"

Voted most likely to have your wallet.

Sacha's tiny partner in crime who lives to live in Sacha's coat. Likes shiny things.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Claret
More commonly known as "herp derp"

Name: Claret
(prounouced "Claire-eht")
Age: 24
Birthday: June 21
Sex: Female
Height: 5'6"

Voted most likely to eat all the cake.

A female courtesan who tries her best but doesn't make the cut most of the time. Sweet and caring but kind of a derp.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Mercutio
He must have his beauty sleep!

Name: Mercutio
Age: ???
Birthday: ???
Sex: Male
Height: 6'0"

Voted most likely to be watching you while you sleep.

Fucking whatever.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Lilith
SO MANY FEELS

Name: Lilith
Age: 24
Birthday: March 28
Sex: Female
Height: 5'7"

Voted most likely to be a NYX make-up model.

Most seasoned female courtesan and top earning female. Has some sort of past with Atros and Linneus.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Argent
BAMF

Name: Argent
Age: 27
Birthday: January 1
Sex: Female
Height: 6'1"

Voted most likely to cut you with how fucking awesome she is.

Atros' bodyguard and confidante. Quiet and observant.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Zephyr
Zephyr is like a kewpie.

Name: Zephyr Langston
Age: 28
Birthday: August 30
Sex: Male
Height: 6'0"

Voted most likely to be #1 at being #2.

Rhys' Captain of the Guard. Loyal to a fault.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Evelyn
Slightly less entitled than Rhys.

Name: Evelyn D'Ivore
Age: 22
Birthday: August 30
Sex: Female
Height: 5'6"

Voted Miss Congeniality.

Prince Rhys' younger princess sister. Close with her older brother, who treats her like gold.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Gloria
Nice fro, bro.

Name: Gloria Elizabeth Averill Buckley
Age: 26
Birthday: November 15
Sex: Female
Height: 6'0"

Voted most secrets (they're all in her hair).

Rhys' soon-to-be wife who don't give a fuck about him.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Vann
Mr. Glassesface

Name: Vann Ezra Brennan Bryson
(pronounced "Vahn Ehz-rah")
Age: 36
Birthday: December 23
Sex: Male
Height: 6'1"

Voted most likely to stay single. Forever.

Gloria's quiet and stubborn attendant.

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Yvette
DADDY I WANT A SQUIRREL

Name: Yvette Atros
Age: 25
Birthday: February 25
Sex: Female
Height: 5'6"

Voted most likely to have a title Daddy bought for her.

Atros' young and bouncy wife.


Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Yvette
DADDY I WANT A SQUIRREL

Name: Remy Dubois
(pronounced "Reh-mee Doo-bwah")
Age: 18
Birthday: June 7
Sex: Female
Height: 5'4"

Voted most likely to climb in your windows and snatch yo' people up.

Rory's sweet and innocent twin sister... OR IS SHE!?!??!

Table
   
Table Table

Teahouse

Table
Yvette
DADDY I WANT A SQUIRREL

Name: Ash
Age: ??
Birthday: ??
Sex: Male
Height: 5'6"

Voted most likely to have the best lips in the world.

Young and bright-eyed blacksmith working in a lower part of Ivore.

Table
   
Table Table

 

 

Teahouse is © Emirain, 2012. All rights reserved. | Contact Us